Saturday, December 24, 2005

My Christmas Wish List

I know I've been a fucking troll this year, posting on blogs, using fake names, overeating like a pig and blowing everything in pants (even greasy Mexicans), but I hope Santa overlooks this and gives me a few gifts.

Here's Scottfromca wants for Christmas;

1.) panties that fit!
-weighing 385lbs., it's very difficile to find panties than go around my massive pig-belly and not ride up my crack.
2.) wigs!
- I needs new wigs for my drag act and for once, I'd like at least one human hair wig. All of mines are made of plastic and they don't style well.
3.) a man!
- I am a good queen and one day would like to settle down and start a family. It's hard to find a good man these days!
4.) a year's supply of Beano!
- I fart all the time and it's getting so that people don'twant to be around me.
5.) an identity!
- this posting on blogs as Marni, Lady V, et al, is becoming tiresome. Everyone is onto my shtick and I'm running out of options.
6.) psychological therapy!
- just a few sessions to help me figure out why I'm such a phony and a fuckup.
7.) a Jack-in-the-Box Card!
- this allows you to eat fine, fast food and not have to bring cash!

Well, Motherfuckers, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Kwanzaa with pigs feet!